In the mid eighteenth century, a man was lucky to be 24, of a 5'3" height, or to have three of his wife's five pregnancies actually result in live children.
These days, there is a 113-year-old man living in Japan, who might have been 5'9" in his adolescence and could have had 993 children before losing any of them.
No question that the men of the world have gotten healthier, smarter and taller (with more potent sperm). The women of the world haven't been shirking either...We've hit record-breaking heights in intelligence, opportunity and social participation (as well, as you know, literal heights, ages and the like).
On the other hand, with each passing inch and year, North American society has become weaker and more pathetic. Anaphylactic allergies come to one in every two Americans now and Type II diabetes, relatively unheard of 30 years ago (and then, only in those over 30 years old), has reached epidemic proportions in the U.S. teenage population.
If we're so strong, at least in comparison to those who came before us,
how is it that, all of a sudden, we're so weak?
The answer has been whispered around the internet, across classrooms and behind doctor-doors for years now: We're living longer, and taller, because we're 'doing it' sterile (hah! You get it?).
Anti-bacterial soap, vaccinations, chemically-processed multivitamins for children, 140 SPF and nuclear-powered mosquito repellant. All familiar products 'round the homestead, these days.
The human immune system is centered around a "recognition and repulse" system. Something invades, our previously-built antibodies recognize it as negative, and skewers the the virus before it incapacitates us. Unfortunately, the more we protect our children (and ourselves) from the potentially harmful raw-milks, vitamin D-heavy sunburns, bacteria cultures, and mud-smeared cuts (god-forbid they should ever eat that dirt or, horrors, pick their noses), the more we restrict opportunities for the immune system to develop a defensive game-plan. We've turned their bodies into tiny Dubya's: With nothing actually frightening to attack, they're going after peanuts.
And it just gets worse, year after year. Nothing is allowed to get you sick anymore. Nobody is willing to risk a little stomach upset, or even a hangover*. Cheese as we know it is going to eventually become synonymous with antiseptically packaged bright yellow wax. Deli meat will be unheard of (as will Delis, for that matter, especially Canadian ones!),while oranges will heat within their skins to come pasteurized, right off the tree! So, finally, we can all climb into our Tod Lubitch bubble-suits and watch a sunset reenactment...which, as a pathetic anachronistic 5'5"er, I'll never be able to see, behind all those glorious six-foot tall heads...
*Claims about lack of morning-after-regrets abound with Cusqueña, a Peruvian beer that two UK hooligans have been importing since sampling it and its effects on a trip to Macchu Picchu.
P.S. No advocacy of any religion intended - Even if I were religious, the one I am subtly referencing here would make all my Jewish Grandmothers 'oh vay' with great sincerity....To each his own.
Comments