"I am Fond of Pigs...
"I hate to hear you talk about all women as if they were fine ladies...

"Open Your Refrigerator Door...

And you summon forth more light than the total amount enjoyed by most households in the 18th century." - Bill Bryson

Back! Back from a visit to ye ol' piggy farmer with a purse full of shoulder meat. Thankfully, there aren't any borders between Colchester and London. I don't want to think about the lies I'd have to tell to sneak a load like this one if I were heading back to Canada!

I have to admit, I was perhaps a little too excited at the scene set before me at the farm - and I let it get the better of me in their farmshop... 

The Butcher ShopIMG_3936

Especially... ESPECIALLY, because I haven't any real capacity to turn meat into sausage at the moment! You mightn't be surprised to learn that meat doesn't become shelf-stable, fermented or cured on its own. But it takes more than just the run-of-the-mill ingredients that you keep in your kitchen. Or even the ones in my kitchen. (Yup. I'm implying that I stock better sh*t in my kitchen than you do. So what? I totally do. But I don't stock fermentation chambers, as a general rule...)

If this whole adventure has taught me anything though - it is that I have a grand capacity to push my dreams/schemes into reality. So I simply sat about dreaming/scheming on how to get what I needed to turn this glorious hunk o' shoulder into sausage (that one, yeah, the one right behind the leg!) before I had any premises set up. 

Then, lo and behold, what should I find on a quiet walk through my neighborhood?!


No... it didn't come in the trolley - That was another serendipitous find. Seriously! I found the trolley first, and was wheeling it back to Tescos when I found the fridge on another side street. 

See! Proof.

You may not know, unless you follow sites like Ben Starr's, or The Sausagemaker's, that small refrigerators like these make just about the most perfect home-curing chambers you can get. A little elbow grease and some retro-fitted controllers and you're good to go. 

And, as street-finds go, I didn't really hit any snags at all when it came to claiming this refrigerating beauty... unless you count what it feels like to walk through a crowded suburb wheeling a mini fridge on a shopping cart. Yeah. Basically, I think it was more alarming to people that I was walking calmly, and not talking to myself or throwing cats. 

I'm nothing if not resilient under trying circumstances - so a little whistling, a confident cheerful demeanor, and an elevator large enough to fit my entire shopping cart were all I really needed to see this particular scheme to its logical conclusion.


As regards the next step, I'll spare you the gory details, but picture a lot of soap. 

 And then, finally, just a matter of hooking up these babies


and Treeby Humidor 2.0 will be ready to go!

Saaaaaahhhweet. (If I do say so myself).  Next up! Logos, Leases, and Lasgana, oh my!



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